So, first off, i realize you're all broke, but in the case of fiscal responsibility/sudden bouts of inheritance, i would like to formally invite anyone desiring happiness/adventure in life to visit me.
Just think: sometime later on you'll see this amazing (wo)man, and have the desire to attract them. if you follow my advice, you'll be able to start speaking loudly about "when i was in africa...". Said hottie will be irresistibly drawn to you, and you will then regale them with tales of wonder. we can even feed some babies or something while you're here, if you're into that. You'll be a chick/dude magnet! The logic for visiting me is undeniable.
To excite you about your impending visit, i've put together 3 suggeseted vacation packages. these by no means need to be followed. off the beaten track is a-ok with me.
1. The Kingdom in the Sky $
The most affordable package involves chillaxin with me in Lesotho. See what my life is like!
possible adventurez: pony trekking, hiking, using a pit latrine, donkey pub crawls
2. Summer Lovin' (Winter for you N. Hemisphere fools) $$
While the rest of the continent is boiling, we can frolic round South Africa! Durban, Cape Town, the Wild Coast, Kruger Nat'l park all await!
possible adventurez: swimming in both the indian and atlantic oceans, being eaten by lions, going on wine tours, etc.
3. Go North $$$
good for winter, also fun any other time. these adventurez are more expensive because they're farther away (= more transportation, more time away, etc.)
Mozambique: beaches, seafood, dancing, djs. possible adventurez: aquiring a harem, introducing new dance moves
Botswana: elephants, okavango delta, victoria falls. possible adventurez: falling out of a canoe and getting eaten by hippos, "swimming" in the mist of Vic Falls
Namibia: namib desert, large animals, skeleton coast. possible adventurez: dune boarding, leopard feeding
Swaziland: like Lesotho but with infrastructure and better crafts! possible adventurez: seeing the "virgin parade" where a bunch of jailbait parade around naked, so men can decide which one they want.
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3 comments:
tres tempting. perhaps you should consider starting a travel agency? you could cater to ninjas desiring a bit of rnr post assassination spree. just a thought.
p.s. I bought a wee bottle of whiskey the other day, with the thought of sending it your way. but I ended up drinking it. sorry.
I'm actually considering going to South Africa some time in the Fall to visit my cousin, Rocco. Which, of course, would not be complete without visiting you. We'll see. I'm working on it.
Becky,
Could we perhaps visit Zimbabwe?
Ok thanks!
Alan in Kenya
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