Fast Times at Training Camp High

so i've been back at "camp africa" (a.k.a. the training site in Maseru) for a week and change now, and it's alright. it's nice to see my far flung friends again, but the schedule is KILLINGME. we have sessions from 8am to 8pm and i've been drinking a lot to deal with this weird stress of seeing buildings and people etc. again, so i'm also hungover a lot. only a couple more days, though.

yesterday we got to hang out poolside at the amby's house again, and it was awesome! there were snacks! i felt like a real person kind of! AND they let me be dj and choose all of the music. so that was nice.

ugh, i've gained 10 pounds though. which would be fine if i gained weight like a normal person, but because i'm me, it goes only to teh fetus and second chin. so i now have a perma-potbelly, and a chubby chin. my pants are having a hard time fitting.

and i got vaccine number 10 or so today, the HPV one, and a flu shot. my arms are hardcore.

so because we're dirty and unwashed and ostrasized so much, a fun activity of PCVs is to get dressed up pretty and or wacky, with pretty make up and lots of glitter, so here are some fun times pictures. you can find more on facebook

photo montage

sorry no pics from cape town, i don't have my camera cord (curses!)

here's my roundavel

rainbows!

me marking assignments at my desk in the staffroom

form A2, there are 5 rows of 3 desks that wouldn't fit in the picture. that's tsepo in the front, he's awesome.

exam day + inkless xerox machine = free day! = taking out your teachers weave


l to r: reithumetse, malehluoa, pule: my family! we're hanging out in teh kitchen. i just gave pule and reithumetse these valentine socks with light up hearts. they went NUTS

reithumetse in front of the kitchen house

me and 'me mamasebetse, another teacher

pie in africa!

The day i rejoined 21st century society

Back from easter vacay! In action! FULL EFFECT. We went to Cape Town and it was incredible! Man, holy shit, they have grocery stores there that are huge! And they have a whole entire aisle for cheese! I just stood and gawked for a while, my friend had to prod me along or else I would have been there all day. I think they have that stuff in the states too, huh. Whatever, lesotho grocery stores have two aisles of food, period. I got lost in the grocery store, there were like 20 kinds of pasta. All I bought were some pickles though. I think my logic function shut down.
Anyway, 5 of us rented a car and drove 11 hours on the wrong side of the car/road to cape town. I was one of two drivers, and the only victims were the front left hubcap, and a v. small speeding ticket (equiv. of going 72 in a 65 zone sort of thing, yeah I know, LAME) anyway, I’m proud of myself. We went on a wine tour in Stellenbosch wine country, and I met a cute Australian at the hostel and kissed a boy for the first time in 5 months, so that was fun. Then we went to cape town and danced the night away and I got to see the beach. And I ate at a restaurant almost every day. I ate so much food, I got kinda sick. So rich. AND< id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181648533283152418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJwvCw6Qg1yO8yJl82Foaqlf0JZFb4I1uaidssvrivdjfa-IstfiT40V9Q2BToVO5pp-ydehfyTA7bZQpVHn5HLIQL9X3b4MXUdrQzyFueOfrnUtwiOL15hVzEa9LuJfVjwd6KiFZRtkw/s320/P1110115.JPG" border="0">

previously on....

February
Hey! LTNS! I happen to live in the the only region completely without internet. Yes, I am at the end of the long, windy unpaved road high up and far away. Life is good, I’m pretty settled in here at the glimmering mountains of thaba tseka. My host family is sort of a rotating cast of characters, people stay for a bit, then disappear. I’m not sure how everyone’s related, Basotho are incredibly vague when it comes to differentiating extended family. They’re all just family, without qualifiers. Anyway, the head of my family is my ‘Me, an incredible, indomitable lady, she just turned 66, she’s technically retired (she started a primary school from scratch and ran it for 20 years) but she’s still on all these committees and charities and things. The only wrinkles she has are crows feet at her eyes from smiling. She has 8 grown children and some number of grandchildren ranging in age from newborn to 28. Of this family, two grandsons (pictures will follow), a girl that lives with them and helps out with cooking/laundry/etc. and also attends high school, and two really old men, whom I have no idea how/if they’re related. The girl that lives with the fam, Malehluoa, is 24 and we hang out a lot.
Thaba-Tseka town, where I live, is the capital or camptown of Thaba-Tseka district. As such it’s a “big town”, which doesn’t mean much by American standards, but most villages consist of 20-40 homes and maybe a tiny shop/bar. Here I get to enjoy such luxuries as canned tuna, peanut butter, and sometimes bananas! I feel pretty cosmopolitan, anyway. Also we have a bank and post office, which is SUPER nice. Especially when I get a package! Like from mom and dad! It’s pretty much the happiest thing evar when I have mail.
Also, I’m getting used to having people ask me for money/candy and I can just shrug it off. Basotho men can really get on my nerves sometimes, though. Here the only glimpses of America/ns is through music videos, and some random reality shows that are played here (e.g. cheaters). So, unsurprisingly, then men here have come to the conclusion that American women are all sluts and will marry and/or have promiscuous sex with anyone who bothers to inquire. And they inquire. Either that or all Americans have a “get in free” pass and will choose a lucky winner to bring back to America with us. I had to explain to one guy last week that no, Americans do not have a boyfriend for everyday of the week, and no, he cannot reserve Wednesdays. You can’t really blame them, I suppose. I mean, a potentially better life is standing there right in front of them and they just need to ask. Who wouldn’t try?
My school is super cool. My coworkers are all really nice, though I’m categorically left out of all conversation in the staff room because they only speak Sesotho. It’s way too fast and complicated for me to follow. I walk 45mins-1hr each way to school, up/down hills and through some pretty treacherous muddy swampy areas, so I always show up to school breathing heavy, with my face all red and my hair sticking out, and mud splattered/smeared all up to my knees. I’m not quite sure what my coworkers think of me, they’re always so clean and composed. And really, I have no idea how I get so much mud on myself. I think if clumps on my shoes and gets flung off my heel onto my calves. And since I like mud I’m always really tempted to squish in it but since I’m a responsible professional grown-up, I exert my endless willpower and instead I mince daintily through it with my skirts held out of the way.
I’m in charge of the scientific enlightenment of two of the form A classes (~8th grade, though they range in age from 13-24) and the mathematic abilities of one of the form B classes. There are 50-60 kids in each class, which is average. The kids here are all so docile and obedient. I think it’s because they get the crap beaten out of them with sticks by all the other teachers whenever they’re out of line, or get their assignments wrong, or make noise, or etc. etc. They’re SO much easier to handle than the hyperactive, spoiled 8 year olds that I’m used to. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the 8 year olds, American kids are just a whole lot more entitled than the kids here. Here they actually do respect/obey their elders.
So anyway, to deal with the much reduced social stimuli/stuff to do, Victoria, Sam, and I have created theme days, and we attempt to speak/text in said theme as much as possible on those days. Saturday= Limericks, Sunday= Haiku, Monday= punday, Tuesday= double entendres Wednesday= misused/incorrect clichés/idioms, and Thursday and Friday always change, sometimes sexual harassment day, arrested development quotation day, famous last words day, etc. It keeps us busy. I really like making limericks. Also we’re making a rival to the countrywide PCV newsletter. I made a comic strip for it featuring rowdy-o the donkey and lerato (love) the honey badger. And I totally freaked out Victoria by killing them off in the first strip. But, really, she needs to have more faith in their resourcefulness and adventurous spirit.
Some Selected Limericks/Haiku from the PCVs of Lesotho:
Me:
There once was a girl named Victoria
She had a brother in praetoria
Though he hardly knew her
He rolled over to her
And now they have a daughter named Gloria

There once was a boy named Klein
Who’d ask each passing damsel, “will you be mine?”
Then a seductive lady, though a bit shifty
Said she’d be his for a buck fifty
So kleiny said, “now it’s my time to shine!”

Victoria:
There once was an aussie name Heath
Who brought us more joy than a wreath
He OD’ed on drugs
While wearing sassy uggs
To him all my tearz I bequeath

Me:
‘morrow I enter
Valley of shadow of death
Students, please behave

Hundreds of flies swarm
Berserker attack swat down
They just rise again

James:
I cry out skyward
My pantry left bare, no more
The fish of tuna

Freshly washed clothes hung
I sigh, as dark clouds approach
This will end poorly

Oh, and I remember I made a list of 10 things to quicken the heart, like my 2nd post or something. Here’s an updated list:

10. eating bread fresh from the dutch oven with lots of butter
9. the feeling right after bathing/hair washing, before dust/sweat envelops me again
8. cheese (or the possibility of cheese)
7. finding green peppers/bananas/mangoes in the store
6. seeing the dung beetles rolling their load across the road
5. hot showers/ clothes dried in a drier (or dreaming of them)
4. day dreaming (my main occupation)
3. being irresponsible and squishing in the mud
2. when I walk to school through the fields, all these grasshoppers jump in and out of my path and I feel kind of like they’re heralding my way, like rose petals, but not
1. GETTING MAIL!


March

Two weeks until I post this! The past few months have been good, mostly. The first month or so at site went SO SLOW. Then I got into the groove of things and the rest of my time here has gone by really fast. Also I took on another class at school, so I teach 3 classes of science instead of 2 so I’m super busy with school. Anyone I wrote to saying I have a lot of free time, that was a dirty lie. I get up at 6:46ish, eat my oatmeal and drink my tea while rockin to the likes of Luna-C, Shy FX/T Power, or Britney Spears, then I head to school. I’m there 8:07ish-4:01ish every day, expanding young horizons, winning the hearts and minds of students and teachers alike, saving starving babies, curing both AIDS and the clap, and generally changing the world. I get home 4:53ish, and being the evening culinary masterpiece (and every other day I bucket bathe, if the pump hasn’t gone dry AGAIN.) by the time I finish dishes it’s 7:02ish. I have a rigorous regimen of excersizing once in a blue moon, and also my ausi Malehluoa comes over for maths help and we sit around and chat after (she doesn’t go to the school I teach at). I’m usually in bed by 8:34ish and asleep by 9-9:31. Teaching is tiring! I mean, I knew that already I suppose, but it hasn’t changed I guess. Also my reputation as maths tutor seems to be spreading (my ausi was failing and now she’s the top of her class and helps out the other kids!) so I get kids from the other high school stopping by my door a lot for help. Also I have abuti (brother/young boy) time where the two current abutis staying with us (ages ~4 and ~8) come over and we sit on the floor and make high art with our colored pencils and crayons. (THANKS molly and jen’s mom!) I’m teaching more classes than the normal PCV load, and I like feeling busy and like I’m needed. It helps keep my from thinking about all of you quite so much. I’m going to now give you all (except the Van Meels, Mom/Dad, Cecilia Hartman, and MOLLY!/Mark) a guilt trip for the lack of letters. This is mostly directed at you, my friends. I know emails are easier/more convenient, but maybe you could print them and mail them to me? I really want to hear from you! Just one little letter….
Ok enough of that. Tomorrow is Moshoeshoe’s day! King Moshoeshoe I is the hero who delivered the Basotho people from the clutches of the Boer Farmers in hmlphrgmphh year. Nowadays that means no school! And there are celecrations with traditional music, and dancing and singing and games. I’m SUPEr excited. Sam (another PCV, and recovering vegetarian) is supposed to help slaughter a bull. I’m not jealous. I am excited for the potential of meat, though. I’m protein-starved here. Well, meat starved at least. Speaking of the culinary wonders of Lesotho, I now eat tomatoes and onions! (cooked, not raw). Beggars can’t eat gift horses everyday, I suppose (Today is Wednesday, incidentally, and also misused idioms day). The only produce regularty available are apples and carrots, so I jump at any variety. My digestive system has fared pretty well, I get random vomit/diarrhea attacks, but not too bad. MAN, PCVs love talking about their bowel movements. I’m trying not to do it too much (OH! MOLLY! The “everybody poops” book was incredible, I laughed so hard, I love you.) Anyway I keep a can of glade spray in my latrine, it’s “fresh linen” scent, though, so now my brain has made the dubious association between clean clothing and going poop. I’m hoping the association doesn’t spread to muscle memory, because then I would have a real problem. I have yet to start a garden. My ‘Me has one she lets me pilfer from, but I want to start a plot with slightly more exotic flora such as broccoli and zucchini. I’ll have to wait until Sept. or so, though, because now is winter veggies planting time! (It’s towards the end of summer here, now.) (It’s like I’m Endless Summer 3, except I don’t have Bruce whatshisface making snarky commentary about my adventures.) (Man, that would be major awesome if I did, though.)
I’m still reading a lot of books, which is fun. I went through this cheesy time travel historical fiction fantasy romance phase, which I’m out of, thankfully. I want to read some good fantasy if anyone (Dan) has any suggestions… now I’m on an old school sci-fi kick: HG Wells, Isaac Asimov, Orson Scott Card. I’m loving it. I want to try reading all the great/classic authors I never got around to in the states.
Finally, a list of items always welcome in Lesotho: Fishes and candy (my two great loves) (all candy that exists is good, some favorites include: starbuts, nerds, sour patch kids, peachios, skittles, runts, butterfinger, cookies/cream bars, reeses cups, any dark chocolate, tootsie roll pops, etc) cheez its, teriyaki beef jerky, dried fruit (any, mango, and cranberries are faves) cashews, sunflower seeds, pumkin seeds, photos of you, letters/artwork/poetry/political manifestos/ news clippings/cool sciency stuff/trashy celeb mags/ etc. (Adam! I have you news clipping up on my wall) I also now have access to a computer (though it’s without internet, printer, sound, cd burning ability, or dvd drive) I can add music to my ipod! So if you are in possession of some rockin tunes, feel free to send em my way!
- MISS YOU SO MUCH!!

ha-HAH! I continue to surprise with more posts

some photos!! the first two are from the front door of my roundavel. rocken, huh? in the first one you can see the mission.









the children, they love me. they love the camera more though. they made me take pictures of them for like an hour.










this pic is from today, at the swearing in ceremony. these are our "new volunteer" faces. Madeline is in the middle, and victoria is on the right.














These are the bo-me, our language trainers in traditional dress (they're called seshoeshoes (pronounced seh-shway-shways)).

So i think i might forego my previous career aspirations and just become a zombie. I'm already functioning as little as one, and i feel like i'm just stumbling around in a haze of sleepiness. Maybe some brains would fortify me. A couple friends have taken to napping during the day and then staying up late and keeping me company, or rather, they just feel like reading a book until 2 in the morning and it's nice because they're with me, and i can pass out on the couch easier.

oh! though. i'm a real live volunteer now! we had swearing in today, and leave in the morning to start our lives as pcvs. i will miss people, but i'm glad to be done with training finally, no more in-betweenness. i can start teaching and living in one place and be awesome. and then maybe i'll sleep. today i met nancy, the ambassador's wife, and it was cool. The ambassador was wearing a super-awesome straw fedora type hat today, and it was baller. and i got to wear a pretty dress that i complemented with band-aids all on my knees cuz i scraped them up. and then i ate a lot of food, and everyone made fun of my food baby because i looked 3 months pregnant. the pattern on my dress actually did a pretty good job of concealing it. and then i bought gummy worms. the end.

i uploaded a bunch of photos to facebook, i'm not sure how to share them on here, but if you have facebook, check em out

new address!

My new address will be:

P.O. BOx 120
Thaba-Tseka 550
Lesotho, Southern Africa

you can still send stuff to the old one though

also, has anyone received my mailings yet? let me know

also for the people who might phone me, i think there's a 9 or 10 hour difference, but i'm not sure. you should look it up (p.s. remember to alter for the fact that i'm not on daylight savings time)

News, olds, mes, and yous

Hey, this will be the last post for god knows how long, I leave on thurs or Friday to my site in thaba tseka, where it’s costs my left breast to use the internet for half an hour. I will still write snail mail, so if I don’t already have your address, email it to me and I’ll draw you semi-retarded cartoon depictions of my life.

I successfully spent my first few nights alone in a roundavel, we had a 4 day site visit. My family there is amazing, my new ‘me is totally cool and badass, and I really like all my ausis and abutis, too. My roundavel is beautiful and I have a big double bed, and electricity!! And my school is brand new, and none of the windows are broken, and it has nice desks, and I’m excited. Going there made me feel a lot better about staying here. Although, I didn’t really sleep at all there, I was so scared. I kept telling myself there are burglar bars on the door and window, and it’s ok, and nobody’s out there. There were haenous(sp?) storms every night, incredible thunder and pounding rain, and I just kept thinking that no one would hear me scream this time. But it’s ok, I’m fighting to become a rational human being again and not need to have a flashlight on next to me all night. My crank radio has a flashlight, which is nice so I don’t have to worry about batteries. Eventually I will be able to sleep I hope.

I feel like my brain is full of cotton balls, my ability to do anything is lessening with each successive night of no sleep. I think maybe I’ll reach some sort of breaking point, and hit bottom, then start to come back and sleep more and more. Who knows, though. I just keep having nightmares of hands coming out to pin me down and strangle me, or of scary men popping out of random places to beat me. My heart is always going a million miles an hour in my sleep, or at least it always is when I wake up.

I think about how it would be easy and wonderful to go back to Portland, but back in Portland it’s all the same stuff, it’s easy and convenient and rote. And I really don’t want that. Well that’s a lie. I TOTALLY want that eventually. Like in two years or so. But now I don’t want to miss out on the rest of the world. Sure Lesotho is uncomfortable and stinky and obnoxious and foreign and etc. but there are so many new things every day, so much to see. And really that’s what I want. I’ll deal with flies all over and bedbugs and 25 people in a tiny taxi that smells like “a giant man made of papa” to quote Victoria. But it will be good I think. Hopefully when I settle down at my new amazing home in my awesome town high high on the top of all the mountains (like 7400 ft. up), it will be better. (p.s. I have a view to school all views from my front step. You’re all jealous.) and soon school will start and I hope hope I will be a good teacher that cares, and will help these kids/adults who want a life that’s better than what they have.

I love you all so so much for emailing me. It means more than I could ever say in responses. And most of the time I know I haven’t been responding, but don’t stop writing because of it. I like all the little updates about your lives, so I can live vicarously through you a bit.

Things I know now, but did not before:
1. walking around a mountain village is hard and makes me feel like an old man with a broken hip and small lungs
2. in England, “fannie” means vagina, not butt
3. I wonder how many bad british porns are named after the fannie farmer cook book
4. my “rash” is not a barrier to men wanting to use me as a passport back to America.
5. The ambassador is my bro. And swimming in his pool makes me a happy happy lady
6. I continue to be unable to go a month (or a week even) without hurting myself in a stupid way. I gashed the shoot out of my thumb new years eve, it looks ucky
7. boxed wine from south Africa is really tasty.
8. it’s not very appropriate to steamroller people while wearing a shortish dress, because then there will be pictures of your underwear on the refrigerator. (for a definition of “steamroller” see the movie Strange Brew (one of the best movies ever made))
9. if you pass all of your classes but get a 49% in English, you fail that grade and have to repeat it. (Fucking lame!) (sorry but that injustice and stupidity deserves cursing)
10. Cecilia Hartman, you’re a wonderful lady. I’ve been smearing the glitter from your Christmas card on my cheeks each morning, and it makes me happy.
11. Jen’s grandma, I forgot your name, but you also rock, thanks for the Christmas card.
12. Grandma Betty, you also rock. Thank you too.
13. Glitter is like a tattoo of shining wonder.
14. I was asked to draw the design for the program for swearing in and for t-shirts for our group, I’m the artist type of the group apparently. It turned out really good, and everyone likes it.
15. This list is way off topic.
16. i have a new address, but forgot it. maybe i'll try to post it tomorrow. you can still send me stuff at teh old address and it will realize its destiny of belonging to me and will find me anywhere.
17. life is much less fulfilling without temporary tattoos and starburst.
18. The basotho don't understand high fives really, so when i get excited about something i do this sideways-raise-the-roof sort of motion of shoving my palm in their face waiting for high fives that don't come. i decided to tell them that this is what americans do when excited, and that they too should shove their palms into peoples' faces when excited.
19. My new abuti (like 9 yrs old) is a liar. he said when he saw monkeys at the zoo, his dad threw his cigarette in the cage and the monkey smoked it. maybe the monkeys here are just smarter.
20. my new friend (24 years old), who lives with my family and does the cooking laundrey etc. has AIDS, and so does the old lady next door, and my nephew-ish abuti who's like 11 years old. it's really sad, and is a good reality check for what's happening to me.
21. the cowboy version of raggedy andy lives near me. he's missing his two front teeth, has this incredibly awesome handmade patchwork cowboy outfit, dreds, a painted cowboy hat, and a mesh tank top. he's my new hero, even though i'm a little too freaked out by him to talk to him. instead i admire from afar.
22. my family has a puppy that's teething, and hurts like a mother fudging bootie when she uses my extremities as chew toys.
23. my new favorite book is titled: Pronoia: the antidote to paranoia: how the whole world is conspiring to shower you with blessings. it's this crazy guy from marin county who's on lots of drugs, but has a very definite vision of a new world and his religion is the beauty and truth laboratory. he's totally nuts, but very emphatic (and unintentionally hilarious) about his beliefs. Rob Brezny. look it up.

fins from the muff, and maybe bagels with cream cheese (toasted) love!